HAROLD AND MAUDE IS REALLY JUST THE BEST MOVIE

IF YOU WANT TO DITCH SCHOOL, DITCH SCHOOL

AND IF YOU WANT TO DROP OUT, DROP OUT

CAUSE THERES A MILLION THINGS TO FLEE

YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE

AND IF YOU WANT TO GET HIGH, GET HIGH

AND IF YOU WAND TO GET LOW, GET LOW

CAUSE THERES A MILLION WAYS TO GO

YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE

QUEER THOUGHTS

HI IM JESSE

DO YOU SEE THAT PINK AND RED UP THERE? THE COLORS THAT POM IS MADE OF? IM FROM THE SAME PLANET AS THOSE COLORS. WE GET ALONG REALLY WELL.

THE COLOR GRADATION IN THE SKY IS ALSO FROM THE SAME PLANET AS ME.

THAT SILVER CAR ON THE OTHER HAND. ME AND THE SHAPE OF THAT CAR ARE JUST NOT FROM THE SAME PLACE. WE ARENT RELATED, WE ARENT OLD PALS, OR NEW PALS. WE DONT REALLY TALK TO EACH OTHER VERE MUCH. AND WHEN I HAVE THE CHOICE IT WILL NEVER BE SOMETHING I CHOOSE TO LOOK AT.

ITS PRETTY AMAZING TO ME THAT THIS PLANET IS MADE UP OF SO MANY DIFFERENT CREATURES FROM SO MANY DIFFERENT PLACES. ITS TOUGH SOMETIMES TO SEE THE THINGS THAT OTHER PEOPLE DO THAT YOU DONT AGREE WITH. ITS EVEN WAY TOUGHER TO KNOW ABOUT THE THINGS GOVERNMENTS DO THAT HARDLY ANYBODY AGREES WITH.

I MEAN WE ALL KNOW THERES INSANE SHIT GOING ON HERE THATS JUST SO FUCKED UP. IT BLOWS MY MIND THAT WE EVEN FUNCTION AT ALL AFTER LEARNING ABOUT THE CRAZY SHIT THAT GOES ON HERE. ALONG WITH THE CRAZY SHIT WE EXPERIENCE FIRST HAND. HOW ARE ANY OF US SERIOUSLE' STILL ALIVE?

I THINK MORE PEOPLE DONT KILL THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY HAVE PEOPLE IN THEIR LIVES WHO THEY CARE ABOUT MORE THAN THEMSELVES. I WOULD NEVER KILL MYSELF, BUT I THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME AND THE FIRST THING THAT POPS INTO MY HEAD THAT GETS ME OUT OF IT IS MY FAMILY AND MY FRIENDS AND HOW FUCKED UP IT WOULD BE FOR THEM AND HOW I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO CHILL WITH THEM ANYMORE. PRIMARILY MY LITTLE BROTHER AND SISTER. AND SUICIDE IS JUST BORING. THE THOUGHT OF IT MAKES ME WANT TO JUST DO CRAZY SHIT. AND THEN JUSTIFY DOING THAT SHIT WITH "WELL ATLEAST ITS BETTER THAN KILLING MYSELF". YOU KNOW?

IM NOT TRYING TO BE ALL SERIOUS, I JUST THINK ABOUT SUICIDE A LOT. I GUESS MY POINT IS WHEN I SURROUND MYSELF WITH ALL THE THINGS I LIKE, THE BETTER MY LIFE IS AND I THINK ABOUT DYING LESS. YOU KNOW? THATS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY THOSE THINGS ARE HERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK THIS. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE BEST THING I EVER HEARD? I READ IT IN A BOOK WRITTEN BY AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL.

"IF YOU WANT ENLIGHTENMENT, JUST LIGHTEN UP"

LIKE STOP BEING SO SERIOUS ABOUT EVERYTHING. ESPECIALLY THINGS THAT TOTALLY DONT NEED TO BE AND WE WERE PRETTY MUCH TRAINED TO BE ALL SERIOUS ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU KNOW LIKE WHEN YOU GET DUMPED OR FIRED OR WANT TO QUIT DOING SOMETHING? LIKE WHY DOES THERE HAVE TO BE SADNESS INVOLVED THERE?

SO MUCH OF OUR LIVES IS SPENT COMPLAINING ABOUT WANTING TO CHANGE SOMETHING OR WANTING SOMETHING FUN AND NEW TO HAPPEN. THEN WHEN IT DOES WE SPEND ALL DAY CRYING ABOUT IT AND COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW UNCOMFORTABLE THE CHANGE IS. UNLESS ITS OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING FUN. THERES A LOT OF POSITIVE CHANGE THAT COMES IN DISGUISE THOUGH. MOTHER FUCKERS.

SO PRETTY MUCH THE ONLY THING THATS SAFE TO GET ATTACHED TO IS FREEDOM.

WHATS THAT SONG IN HAROLD AND MAUDE? THE ONE BY CAT STEVENS, IF YOU WANNA BE FREE BE FREE?

THAT DUDE KNEW WHAT WAS UP

VOTE FOR SOCAL

ONE OF MY LEAST FAVORITE BEACHES SINCE I WAS A KID IS NOW ONE OF MY FAVORITES

FINALLY AN AD THAT MAKES SENSE

WHEN ONE LEG OF A COUCH GOES DOWN YOU GOTTA TAKE THEM ALL DOWN

ONE OF THE MANY FUN AND EXCITING THINGS TO DO DURING SLOW TRAFIC

THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN TAKING PICTURES ON THE FREEWAY IN A CAR

WE WROTE THIS IN THE CAFE AT THE GRIFFITH OBSERVATORY A FEW DAYS BEFORE I WENT TO NYC SO MAYBE LIKE JULY 10TH? THEN WE WENT TO KINKOS AND TYPED IT

69 WAYS TO STOP MAKING ME SUICIDAL

BY DEANA URIBE AND JESSE SPEARS

1. TURN FASTER PLEASE AND ALSO JUST STAY OUT OF THE FAST LANE. THANKS.

2. TO BE A FAMOUS ARTIST YOUR ART DOESN’T EVEN HAVE TO LOOK GOOD, YOU JUST NEED TO PROMOTE YOURSELF.

3. EVERYTHING IS THE OPPOSITE. TURN IT UPSIDEDOWN OR BACKWARDS TO SEE THE TRUTH.

4. YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. TAKE THE FIRST STEP NOW MAYBE?

5. PEOPLE ALWAYS THINK THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEM.

6. DON’T TELL THE COPS THE TRUTH.

7. IT’S NOT OK TO LIE UNLESS IT’S TO COPS AND JUDGES OR ANYONE WHO CAN TAKE YOUR FREEDOM AWAY.

8. SMILE.

9. IF YOU FEEL SAD PUT SHORTS ON AND GO FOR A WALK.

10. THOSE CHICKEN MURALS NEED TO STOP OR I’M GOING TO PAINT THEM OUT MYSELF.

11. ALL GANG MEMBERS ARE FAGGOT SHIT EATERS- WRITTEN ON BATHROOM STALL IN VENICE BEACH.

12. AMERICAN APPAREL IS SO COOL. YOU SHOULD SPEND ALL YOUR MONEY ON THEIR CLOTHES UNTIL YOU STARVE TO DEATH.

13. THERE IS NO BAD TRIP.

14. EVERYTHING IS A HALLUCINATION.

15. I HAVE A PhD FROM THE UNIVERSTIY OF F.U.

16. IT ALL STARTED GOING REALLY STUPID WHEN I SAW THAT DALLAS CLAYTON BOOK.

17. THIS IS TURNING INTO A SLAM BOOK BUT THAT’S OK WITH ME.

18. “VISUALS”.

19. SET YOUR PETS FREE. PUT THEM TO SLEEP.

20. TRY YOUR HARDEST TO USE CONDOMS.

21. HPV ONLY AFFECTS GIRLS YOU ASSHOLES.

22. IF YOU ARE A TEENAGER REALIZE YOU ARE REALLY POWERFUL.

23. DON’T OPEN A FANCY CUPCAKE STORE IN DOWNTOWN ON SKID ROW.

24. ALWAYS CARRY A KNIFE OR HOT CUP OF COFFEE OR TEA.

25. NEVER FALL FOR BEING A VICTIM.

26. I GOTTA BE CAREFUL BECAUSE I DON’T WANNA SEEM LIKE I’M YELLING AT PEOPLE OR TELLING ANYBODY WHAT TO DO BUT THIS IS JUST WHAT I’M THINKING.

27. YOU SHOULD BE REALLY SERIOUS. SO SERIOUS THAT YOU NEVER HAVE FUN AND ALWAYS DIE.

28. HOME IS EVERYWHERE. FEEL YOUR BEST EVERYWHERE AT ALL TIMES,

29. BUT IF SOMETHING SUCKS AND YOU DON’T WANT TO DO IT JUST STOP.

30. NEW YORK IS COOL YOU GUYS JUST HAVE REALLY TALL BUILDINGS AND YOU CAN’T SEE THE SKY AS EASY.

31. ALIENS ARE REAL, READ THE BIBLE.

32. IT’S SO HARD TO SEE PEOPLE DOING THINGS YOU DON’T AGREE WITH BUT SOMEHOW IT WORKS FOR THEM.

33. FOLLOW YOUR EXCITEMENT IN EVERY MOMENT IF YOU WANT TO CONTINUE TO BE EXCITED AND IF YOU WANT JOY.

34. WHATEVER MAN.

35. SERIOUSLY, FOR REALS, SMASH YOUR TV.

36. RICH PEOPLE TEND TO BE REALLY FUCKING WEIRD AND CHEAP.

37. WHO IS TRANSLATING ENGLISH TO ALL THE KOREAN AND CHINESE IMMIGRANTS IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA? THE WORD “OK” DOES NOT EQUAL “GOOD”. BUT I LIKE TO SEE THAT SHIT. I THINK IT’S COOL.

38. I HAD A CRUSH ON THIS GUY FOR SO MANY YEARS AND I NEVER GOT TO MAKEOUT WITH HIM AND IT FUCKING SUCKED.

39. I HAD A CRUSH ON THIS GUY FOR SO MANY YEARS THEN HE GAVE ME A MIXED CD YEARS LATER AND TRIED TO TAKE ME OUT FOR CHEESEBURGERS. ON THE CD THERE WAS A SONG THAT WENT “I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU”.

40. IF YOU LIKE SOMEONE, SOMETHING WITH HAPPEN. SOMETHING ALWAYS HAPPENS. EITHER YOU GET OVER THEM OR THEY LIKE YOU BUT SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN SO GO WITH IT.

41. I LOVED SOMEONE BUT THEY STOLE MY WEED.

42. WE ALL NEED MORE HOOK-UPS.

43. DON’T GO BROKE OVER BEING TOO GENERIOUS UNLESS YOU’RE GIVING ME HOOK-UPS.

44. THINK ABOUT YOU FIRST. IT’S NOT SELFISH IT’S HOW TO SURVIVE HERE.

45. CYOTES ARE NOT SCARY. PITBULLS ARE. CYOTES RUNAWAY FROM YOU AND THEY DON’T BARK.

46. LOTS OF SAD THINGS HAPPEN IN THE WORLD BUT THEY AREN’T YOUR FAULT. SO DON’T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THEM. UNLESS THEY ARE YOUR FAULT, BUT STILL DON’T FEEL GUILTY.

47. THE LITTERING STARTS WHEN YOU BUY THE SHIT.

48. WHEN YOU THROW SOMETHING IN THE TRASH CAN IT’S THE SAME THING EXCEPT YOU WON’T GET A TICKET.

49. ITS ALL TRASH ON TRASH.

50. JUMP OFF THE EDGE EVERYTIME.

51. IF YOU GROW UP ON DEL TACO IT’S REALLY HARD TO GIVE UP.

52. IF YOU DRIVE ON THE 110 GET OUT OF THE WAY.

53. LIL’ WAYNE IS GOD’S GIFT TO GIRLS.

54. NEVER BE A COCK BLOCKER. EVER. NEVER GET IN THE WAY OF A FRIEND’S LAY. I HATE COCK BLOCKERS THEY STILL EXIST AND THEY ARE STUPID.

55. TWEAKERS ARE THE WORST PEOPLE ALIVE. I JUST HAD TO SAY THAT CUZ I JUST HATE THEM SO MUCH.

56. WHO CARES.

57. IN THE WORDS OF BART SIMPSON “DON’T HAVE A COW, MAN”.

58. CHILL BONER.

59. DOPE DONG.

60. LICK PUSSY.

61. KISS GOOD.

62. YOU CAN GET OVER ANYTHING AND GET UNDER WHOEVER YOU WANT.

63. BURNING MAN IS HELL ON EARTH.

64. DROPPING OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT.

65. DON’T READ NOW, READ LATER.

66. DO PSYCHADELICS IN PLACES YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE. IF IT’S YOUR FIRST TIME DO IT BY YOURSELF ON THE FREEWAY WITH A DOG AND A TWEAKER.

67. LETS DO PEYOTE AND MESCALINE.

68. BACON IS FUCKING DISGUSTING.

69. TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF MORE.

70. I ONLY LIKE UPSIDEDOWN CROSSES AND SATANIC SHIT BECAUSE IT KEEPS THE CHRISTIANS AWAY. THAT RELIGION IS FUCKED UP.

71. JESUS WAS ALRIGHT. GOOD FOR HIM.

72. I’M TAKING THE GOVERNMENT DOWN TOMORROW.

73. LET GO.

74. HOLD ON.

75. TOWN, I’M TAKING MY SHIRT OFF AND I’M NOT COMING BACK FOR A WEEK.

76. THAT’S HOW I FEEL MAN.

77. WHAT ABOUT GIRLS SPEAKING UP? DUDE, THAT’S LIKE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.

78. PLANTS ARE CRAZY THEY JUST GROW.

79. DUDE, I REALLY GO THROUGH SHIT FAST, THAT’S JUST REALLY THE TRUTH.

80. BREAKING SHIT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER AND IT’S TOTALLY OK TO DO.

81. IF THEY’RE ALLOWED TO MAKE IT I’M ALLOWED TO BREAK IT.

82. I WAS GOING TO PUT MY BLOG ON THIS THING BUT THAT WOULD RESULT IN MORE WEIRD E-MAILS.

83. MERGING LANES IS A DIFFICULT THING FOR SOME PEOPLE TO DO. THEY NEED TO FIGURE THAT SHIT OUT.

84. YOU’RE EITHER PUNK OR YOU’RE JUNK.

85. GOODFELLAS IS THE BEST MOVIE, EXCEPT FOR THE ENDING IS SO SAD. I HATE THE ENDING.

86. MORE PRANKS, MORE JOKES, MORE OF THAT KINDA SHIT.

87. I WANT A 1987 GRAND NATIONAL AND I WANT TO LISTEN TO APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION IN IT BECAUSE THAT ALBUM CAME OUT IN 1987 AS WELL. ALSO 87 IS CODE FOR 69. JUST SO YOU KNOW MAN.

88. WHOLE FOODS IS A GOD DAMN JOKE.

89. URBAN OUTFITTERS RULES. I LOVE HOW THEY RIP EVERYBODY OFF SO HARD.

90. ALL SKATEBOARDS ARE GAY FAGGOT QUEERS. JUST KIDDING THEYRE ACTUALLY REALLY HOMOPHOBIC BROS AND THAT’S FREAKING ME OUT.

91. I HAD A CRUSH ON THIS GUY FOR SO MANY YEARS AND THEN HE BECAME MY BOYFRIEND AND HES REALLY HOT AND I FUCKING LOVE HIM. WHAT THE FUCK.

92. “DIVE” IS THE BEST NIRVANA SONG. NEXT IS “BIG CHEESE”.

93. I WILL BREAK STUFF FOR YOU. GIVE ME YOUR GLASS.

94. I WISH I DROPPED OUT AFTER 5^TH GRADE. LIKE IN THE OLD TIMES.

95. THERES NO JESSE IN TEAM.

96. I’M PIST AND I LOVE YOU AND I HATE YOU.

CASUAL